Saturday, December 26, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Posted by Evelyn at 2:17 PM
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
I can't believe it has been 19 days. 19 days since my life flip-turned-upside-down (said like the Fresh Prince, yo). Look at my little guy! He is so tough and ninja that as you can see above, he even knocks himself around to prove how manly he is!
Yes, Cap'n CARRRRRRRRRRTER is still Captain Awesome.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
So in case you didn't hear my screaming across state lines, he's here!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
So I don't get it. I fought going into early labor and contractions for two months straight. Now that I want baby awesome to BE here, he sticks his fanny all up in my ribs and is refusing to come out. No contractions - NOTHING.
Our crib is awesome. Jake's mom got it for us and it makes me tear with joy looking at it!!
Aren't we good parents to have our baby ninja looking up into the face of a skull each morning?
I also continue to feel very blessed. I know I want him out but I am truly grateful he stayed in long enough to be healthy. I just want to give birth to a baby and not a MAN. We have been blessed as well by having such kick-a awesome friends and family. We had several amazing, generous showers and I don't know where we'd be without the help. Here I made Jake come in and open a box of ding dongs (best present EVER).
I am running, squatting, eating pineapple, and shining a flashlight up my basement (head towards the light, dude). I say it's time. Here's to hoping next post will have me all puffy faced and blurry eyed in love with my new little dude. I just want to meet him!!
Monday, September 28, 2009
It's 6 a.m. and what am I doing? Eating fruit snacks and staring hopelessly at a computer screen while I would MUCH rather be staring at the back of my eyelids. Sigh. I don't think I'll ever be friends with my old friend sleep again. It's making me go even MORE loony, if that's possible.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Posted by Evelyn at 2:30 PM
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
In all reality, I am very very grateful that I am still pregnant and little pooper dude is still healthy and OK. I want him in there as long as I can. I am ever grateful for the many wonderful friends and family that have shown such compassion and concern. Thanks for the calls and prayers and Chuck Norris T-Shirts (I LOVE YOU DI!). I appreciate it more than you'll ever know.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
And who can forget girls night to say bye to Carrie before she left us for New York (she says she's going to grad school but I think she's really out there to marry a foreign diplomat with a mustache). I love these ladies and miss them every day!
Yes, that's my I just farted look. No wonder Jake saw that and wanted to impregnate it. Yowzah.
Friday, August 14, 2009
I will forewarn you, this will not be a clever post. Not a happy, witty one, or an intellectual insightful one, it will be booby. (That means sad. I once bore my testimony about how I boob. I meant cry. That was embarrassing....)
We had a doctor's check up yesterday. I was 1000% expecting a good report. I have been feeling so much better and little Chuck is still round-house kicking his way all around. I have had some contractions but I didn't think anything to worry about.
So without giving you the gory details, the doctor checked all up my basement and we found another problem. HENCE: Bed rest. Bed rest with bathroom privileges.
I don't think I'm so much as upset with the bed rest as I am with the thought that our little ninja might be affected. I am so worried about him. The doctor says that if it continues down this path, by next week we will be giving him shots for his lungs to prepare him to breathe for his early arrival.
I want him to cook for 10 more weeks. (I'm at 30). I am not ready for this. HE is not ready for this. I asked if we could just use a cork or duct tape or something to keep him in there but I guess that won't work. They also said I am measuring a week small so he might be even less prepared than I hoped. So much for my theory of an 80 pound dinosaur.
So, bed rest sucks. Not so much a vacation. But I am willing to do whatever I can for my boy. I want more than anything a healthy baby - the rest is inconsequential.
So every day he stays cooking will be a blessing. Every day, hopefully every week, and hopefully even a month or two....and hopefully he could even be late and I wont' even complain if he is 70 pounds and has a full beard. I really won't.
So I am sitting here, bra-less, trying not to boob, but boobing anyway, just worried. If anybody has any good hobbies to do while I work on my bum fat, let me know....
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Brush back the tears, I am BACK to blogging. (yes, all two of you... meaning me... who missed me...). Summer is full of craziness and business and I love it!
We have had a crazy past few weeks that I would never care to repeat. Ever. But I do feel seriously SO blessed. Seriously. So blessed.
I am officially in the 3rd trimester. I get told all the time that I have been pregnant forever and believe me I KNOW IT. I don't think the little dude can possibly make my stomach stretch any further and there are 3 months to go. Ah, little dude. (No stretch marks yet but definitely ugly ugly ankles). We call him baby Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris Heaton IS his own weapon. He has earned his name by attempting to kick his way out of there. That or giving tae kwondo lessons, or maybe he's riverdancing. (I stick with the Chuck Norris theory - it's much more manly).
I am not complaining about the kicking though. We had quite a scare this week. On Sunday my stomach started to hurt. By about 8:00 I was having such bad cramping I felt like I was on my period and it didn't stop. I kept telling myself I am paranoid and just tried to go to bed. Within a few hours the pain was so bad I started vomiting nonstop. After waiting all night, I finally was smart enough to call the doctor (seriously, I don't have a brain) and he told me to go straight to labor and delivery. Not a good feeling at 27 1/2 weeks. Too early. They ran their tests and I was contracting heavily but not in labor. And I think my nurse had a perma wedgy and no one to love her as a child because she was not pleasant. She put me on pain meds and anti nausea and told me to go home because they didn't know what was wrong. I think she thought I wasn't serious. Or maybe it was bad gas.
This morning I got up and discovered I was bleeding heavily. I don't think I have EVER had such a sinking feeling, thinking something could be wrong with our miracle Chuck Norris. Jake rushed me back into the hospital where I was in sheer panic until I heard our little dude's little heartbeat. Yeah, he was kicking and dancing and hanging out like nothing was happening. Never have I been so SO relieved. They checked me and my cervix was still closed and I was not in labor - the bleeding was outside of the cervix (too much gross information, I know). I was contracting again and they gave me a shot and then everything... was fine. They still don't know why my body is cramping and contracting but I am not in preterm labor so they sent me home. I was told to sit and get fat until I meet with the doctor again on Thursday. I'm pretty good at that job. :)
I just feel very blessed to have him safe and sound and not here quite yet. I have been so often complaining about being pregnant and I know I needed some perspective... it was sure given. I don't want to complain any more. I want to do everything I can for him to get here, all safe and sound, and beautiful, and ready to beat up everyone else.
In the meantime, I still have been avoiding cameras. Over the 4th someone snuck in a shot where my belly is exposed, so that's the best I can do for a 'bump picture'. The remainder remain under lock and key to avoid pandemic. Plus I had to take one of Chuck at his first time at the fireworks. I hope you do not vomit.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
A few years ago my Grandma Funk started showing the first signs of dementia. She has since never ceased to entertain us with her -isms. She often forgets the real name of things and replaces them with other words. We still get a kick out of when she was yelling at my younger sister to quit running around without her feet on. (We think she meant shoes). Or when she woke up screaming because a cow was climbing in bed with her. It was a cat.
We love my Grandma and understand that this is beyond her control. But I have never really fully understood what she must feel until recently, when I have begun the early signs of Evz-heimers. Or pregnancy brain. Or maybe just getting dumber. Or maybe it's eating too many oranges. I don't know what it is, but my brain does NOT work.
The other day I got dressed and did some things around my house for more than an hour before I realized that I had not put a shirt on. I was wearing an open jacket, but no shirt. Just my bra and special underwear hanging all out over my bowl of a belly. Not so good.
I forgot to post about how my beautiful younger sister graduated from high school. She is now looking into piracy.
I forgot to post about how my fellow favorite knocked up sister Becca turned old and had her birthday. Happy Birthday, a month ago, Becca!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Today was the day I've been peeing my pants for weeks thinking about... the day of the big ultrasound. Thankfully I remembered to put on CLEAN pants before we went out.
Honestly, all we wanted to hear was that it was either all boy or all girl, not with both parts, and really just HEALTHY.
So, with a drum roll, and a dum dum dum (because I can't think of a creative way to announce this)....
IT'S A BOY.
He's 100% healthy with all his fingers and toes and he has a thing with his feet. He kept trying to smell them. I'm trying not to worry too much yet, but if he tries to keep putting his feet in his mouth during prom, I'm pulling out the big guns.
We have been concerned with this pregnancy because my body is not like most bodies, and there has been anxiety with how this would be for me and the baby. After 3 1/2 months of being sick ALL DAY, that went away and I just feel... hungry. I am getting frequent headaches and still considered high risk, but all that matters is that my baby is still healthy. My little dude with his little boy parts. I love it!! What a miracle that we thank God for each day.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
We have had a good couple of past weeks. I have spent the last five or so years of life in a constant state of stress. Seriously. Basketcase stress. Enough already. My life is now dedicated to happiness.
It does help with stress levels that even though I am on a wicked mad job hunt, I get to wear pj's all day and am learning to knit. Evelyn, the fearless rockstar, knitting? Yes, I'm HARDCORE, YO!!! Knitting brings happiness, I tell you. ...OK, I really need a job...
One more thing that brings me happiness: the Neti Pot. For a few weeks now, my husband (who will be totally mad at me telling this story but this is what he gets for never reading my blog) has been complaining of severe pain in his nose. He keeps thinking it is some sinus infection but I think it is either a tumor or a killer booger. Maybe it's the little man my mom told me about that bites your finger when you pick your nose. Anyways, Jake keeps whining about it and we have tried everything to get rid of it. Since our health insurance doesn't kick in until June 1st, we are all about home remedies. I followed Oprah's advice and got him the Neti Pot. Worth the eight dollars and MUCH MUCH more for the sheer entertainment value of watching him pour water up one nostril and it come out the other.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Around 7:00 Friday night Jake and I met our friends Rob & Ashley for dinner. They were on their way to St. George because they had tickets to the sold-out show of the best comedian ever, Brian Regan (get some leaves!!!!).
Friday, May 8, 2009
Well, it's not like I ever had MUCH sanity but any inkling of that has been lost.
And one more thing: Stretchy pants were sent from heaven.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
It’s official – we are moving. We know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is the right thing to do, even if we don’t have it all figured out yet.
This has been a stressful thing to say the least, since we had a week to prepare. Jake and I went down this weekend to find a place to live. That was a scary experience. I am still rocking bath and forth from the trauma. We went to countless places where I expected to find dead hippies in the closet among the cockroaches. By Saturday we were getting really discouraged. We decided to just drive around to areas we liked – we found the cutest little townhome for rent in Pleasant Grove that was an AWESOME deal. Yay for not living in a place with cottage cheese ceilings where we will die when we lick the walls! Here is a picture and since I am what people call 'slow' I can't figure out how to rotate it in the right direction.
One of the ultimate signs to me that this was meant to be is how everything has fallen into place. We have already found a nice CLEAN little family to rent our house and they will move in this weekend. Can I get a halle-freakin-llujah and a WHEW in da house, people??!!! I have been finishing out the last week at my job while Jake is at home packing. I am under orders from the doctor to do no moving, which is actually more frustrating than anything because I feel like a lazy, dictator cow. I hate asking for help and I hate having to see him work so hard and I get to eat chicken wings and massage my belly. Oh well. This is how I am handling the stress. I decided I am a walrus.
I am excited to be in Utah again but hate this moving thing and having to start over. I pray we survive it through this week!! Jake is handling it by pretending to be Japanese.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I have always and forever HATED making decisions. I can be opinionated, bossy, obnoxious, and gassy, but regardless, big decisions are always hard. We are in the midst of a HUGE, MIND-BLOWING decision that has me all wrapped up in turmoil and uncertainty. (OK, I’m dramatic, but it’s still a big decision).
Jake lost his job several months ago. It has been a trial for us, unlike anything we’ve been through before, but we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we have looked on from a power greater than our own. Even on the day he was laid off, I never felt stressed because a peace came over both of us - that we would somehow be OK. It was only the week after he lost his job that we found out we were pregnant. It has been confusing to think that we felt so strongly we were to come to Boise, for Jake’s job specifically, only to lose it and then be blessed with something we always wanted but not know how to take care of the future…. again we somehow felt we’d be OK.
Jake was wonderful to bounce back and applied at hundreds of places, from Home Depot to selling cell phones. I have been amazed at his attitude during this process. I also know I have been fortunate to have a good job, but it pays nowhere near enough to support our family, including an expensive, diaper-wearing miracle that will soon join us.
A few weeks ago Jake got a job painting – definitely not the dream but something he was willing to do to get money in and to make ends meet for our family. That same week we heard from a web design company down in Orem, Utah that he’d applied to more than a month ago. We had decided after he applied that we should stop looking for jobs in Utah because it is just not good timing…. We had kind of written it off.
Jake still did several phone interviews with this company and not surprisingly, because he is FABULOUS, they loved him. They met with us last week when we were down for Easter to offer Jake a position. It is a good offer which would enable us, if we’re careful, to be able to have me stay home with Piddley.
Here’s the problem: our wonderful house. We had every intention of being in Boise permanently and bought our house because the buyers market truly was awesome. We have called our realtor back and even though we got our house for an amazing deal, the market up here is still horrible to sell and there’s no way we could sell it. Yeah. Crap. It also means having to change insurance/doctors/hospitals for my big old preggo self. It means leaving so many good friends and familiarity that we have made, and probably moving into a 1 bedroom basement apartment.
Pros: Jake would be HAPPY in his job (they have rock band parties every week, come on!) and we would be closer to family (Becca is cringing).
We have been fasting and praying and thinking hard. What do we do?
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
So I have determined that being preg-a-saurus is not so much an easy thing. Really…. Yeah. We have wanted a baby for a long time, and we are so thrilled (thanks for all your congrats!) but I never thought much about the pregnancy thing…. So I feel guilty for complaining about being pregnant, because it’s a miracle, but it is TOTALLY not what I expected. I have such new-found respect and admiration for all my friends that have been through this, and even so many more that have felt it worse than I have!
I do not have morning sickness – I have all day long sickness. The smell of my very own dear husband sends me into instant gagging and convulsions. The other day I exorcist vomited over my friend’s shoes because she ate yams in front of me, and just the name of ‘yams’ made me sick. We can no longer watch food commercials because I need a bucket close by.
And to make it worse, my boobs have NOT gotten bigger yet. What's the deal??
Then there’s the tired thing. I think I could sleep for 4 million years. I actually kind of like that, but it doesn’t help when it’s 11 a.m. at work and I’m in a meeting and I start drooling. Yes, it happened. They call me Drooly, the 8th Dwarf.
And I swear, I already waddle. I am 12 weeks along…. I shouldn’t even show, but I waddle. Sigh.
So let me sigh to you about the drama of this weekend. My body has been going through all these wonderful changes and if you can even imagine, the hormones have made me even MORE crazy. I decided it was time to get a new haircut and highlight so I could feel somewhat better about myself. The hair change ALWAYS helps. The lady that normally does my hair quit because she had a baby, so I made an appointment with another lady at her salon. I was paranoid and she re-assured me the hair dye and everything would be perfectly safe and normal. She was a liar.
Everywhere she tried to put brown, it turned fluorescent orange. No joke. Like a hunter hopped up on 80’s pills. I started BAWLING right there in the chair. I told her to just shave it. Bald is better than looking like one of those things they flag planes with. She told me that she has never seen it happen, but my hormones must have been so crazy they made my hair turn orange. Cry. So she ended up putting blonde everywhere to get rid of the orange, but now I look like a wanna-be Dolly Parton. I am BLONDE. I am too afraid to get it fixed, for fear it could turn green or rainbow or just fall out…. So the next 6 weeks I will be a waddling, Dolly-Parton, drooling, cry-at-car-commercials psychopath. It’s going to be a long time until October…….
Monday, March 23, 2009
I've been waiting to say this news for over four years....
WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY.
Somehow miracles and tears and prayers all worked together and I am on my way to being a baby mama.
Little Piddley Poo will be here around October 23rd. (Considering our family history, though, we should expect an 80 pound monster sometime around Thanksgiving).
I just want to say... YAY!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Last week we had a ward activity where you were supposed to dress from your era. We are totally 80's, BABY!!
Jake and I had a lot of fun pulling out the stretch pants and Aqua net. I thought it would totally come back to me naturally, with my previous big bang skills and moon-dancing.
Sadly, I was mistaken. I could not do the 80's very well. Could not pull it off.
But Jake is even worse. We couldn't decide if he was a lazy, New Kid on the Block with a big kid or a 90's pedophile.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
We have been under a lot of stress lately, and I know most of you are as well. Life is stressful, period. But being as crazy as I already am on a NORMAL day, I crack under stress. I lose it. I have two stages: stage one, you will find me huddled in the fetal position, wearing a towel as a turban, and rocking a Barbie doll to sleep. Stage two: I go nuts. I get uncontrollably hyper, constantly rambling about nothing that coherently makes any sense whatsoever. This is when people often accuse me of being on drugs.
I AM my own drug, just as much as Chuck Norris IS his own weapon.
We have done a few good things to cope with the stress. We decided to just ignore it and went down and stayed in a condo in Wolf Creek with our friends Kisty & Andrew. The weirdest part about this little weekend trip was that chickens seemed to follow us around. They were all over this cute little restaurant we found, and then again were found in the condo. I don’t get the whole decorate-with-chickens thing. To each his own, I guess. I just prefer to keep farm animals out of my decor, especially in kitchens, because we are constantly eating them. I don’t want that reminder.
Anyone have any other positive ways of stress management? I would prefer no chickens to be involved, though.