Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Secretly, I totally wish a vampire would bite me. For real. Jake always tells me that he has never seen a day where I don’t trip or spill on myself. I am like Bella, times one million. I have been waiting for the day when a vampire will bite me for the sheer fact that THEN I would be somewhat graceful.

So I have been feeling gross lately. Usually it’s all I can do to drag myself out of bed, throw a ponytail in, and do a double-take smell on my socks to make sure they’re clean. I decided this morning that I would have a very classy day. I got up on time, SHAVED (not my back, but my legs), froo-frood my hair, put on a cute skirt, and wore my heeled hooker boots. I finally was able to look in the mirror and not break out into sheer terror. Yes, I was feeling quite classy.
I felt super classy in my shiny black car on my way to work. I wasn’t even late today! I also felt very classy when I got out of the car, grabbed my matching bag, my water bottle, and my banana. Only really classy people eat bananas, and since I was classy today, it was a necessity.
So I walk into the office and see a family waiting for me up front. As I’m walking to greet them, I think an invisible midget grabbed my heels, because all of the sudden the earth gave away underneath me. I just in-explicably went FLYING. Seriously, FLYING, not tripping. I flew backwards. I think I covered a ten foot distance. To make this scene even more awesome, I dropped my banana, and landed in it. Mooshed banana on a classy skirt is not so pleasant.
I’m not so classy anymore. I would give anything to go back home, get out of my banana skirt, and put on my pink sweat pants.

Friday, February 13, 2009


Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
-Joshua J. Marine

Isn't life funny? I have often looked back on my rantings and ravings and totally realize that I can be ungrateful and complain too often. I am sorry for being a whiner. I don't want to be. I try to be positive, because I know that what happens to us in life is a lot about attitude. As stated in my previous post, I truly do have much to be thankful for.
I have now determined that Satan is a loser. Boo Satan. He tries to get into my head, make me whine, make me not see past the current situation, and tries to get me to neglect the bigger picture.
I am truly grateful for the belief I have that there is a greater purpose than sometimes we can see right in front of us.
That's right. Boo Satan!