So....it's been a few minutes since I've blogged. Oops. I think I got sidetracked. I really thought about giving up all together for a minute, but realized my last post to be forever imprinted on everyone's memory would be about pooping. Is that what I want to be remembered for??
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Oh yeah. And before all that happened, Carter turned one. He even had an awesome Pirate Party that I never posted about. Must be all that tranquilizer.... I mean...vegetables.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
So I know I’m way behind on pictures. Couldn’t help but post this one to keep you all guessing, and peeing in your pants for those yet to come.Hope you all had a Happy Halloween. The ninja Chuck Norris and his little monkey sure did have a good one.
I wore this to work. No one could figure out what I was. (Chuck Norris is too awesome for human vision). A guy walked in and asked our secretary, “What is wrong with that ladies’ face?”
Friday, October 22, 2010
There are many, many things that I am bad at.
Blogging, for instance.
My list of crappiness also includes walking and chewing gum at the same time, mothering (Worst Mother of BRHS Class 0f 2000 – Holla!), cutting straight with scissors, having a face that doesn't make babies cry, being nice to homeless people….. I could go on for hours.
But, there are a few things I deserve a shout out for, for being the Captain of Awesomeness.
One thing: my thrifty skills. I have taught bubba dude to play with garbage in order to save money. His favorite toy? The one he can’t go to bed without? His bowl I stole from someone in college. Pretty much 90% of the day, it’s on his head. It kind of acts as a helmet which is much needed because I also am bad at walking without falling over, which he has inherited.
Also, I am never eating sushi again. Or Cheez Whiz.
Friday, September 10, 2010
This cutest face says it all. 'Some days everything tastes like a turd, but I'm so sexy!!'
I know I feel like I've been thrown into the blender of life, with a zucchini. Nasty zucchini. Blech. UNTIL it is made into bread. And then it's good. (See, that's a deep metaphor. Read it again and then hang it on your fridge).
We've had chaos surround us in the Heaton household as of late, although I'm sure it's muss less chaotic then the trials the rest of you deal with.
We've had a lousy, busy, insane week and this morning I just decided to call in sick.... because I AM sick. No, really. The chaos made me go all sicky. So as I'm laying here in my 'sick pants' (do the rest of you have those or is it another weird 'Ev' thing?) I am thinking I am not slowing down enough amidst the chaos to truly enjoy so many of the blessings of this life.
Especially the baby awesome. Old ladies are always so right, that he grows too fast to even know. He is 10 months...almost 11. He is freaking WALKING (well, like 5 steps and then freaks out and canon-ball dives). He's talking (he says 'yaaaay). And he's TEETHING. Which is the crap thing of it ALL. Perfect little sleeper? Not any more.
Earlier this day, while still in my sick pants, I was watching baby tv shows. Where is my BAAAA-BY? WAAHH!!!
So here's to trying to enjoy the little things, the teething sleepless nights, and to celebrating his growth. Soon, he might be old enough to be enlisted as my slave, so at least THAT is something that is good about growing up.
No really, today I'm overly grateful for this little miracle of mine. And for my life. I truly haven't felt this happy, albeit a little stressed, before. I love my boy, I love having my BFF sisters and nephew so close to torture every day, I love my little cheese of a husband, I love my job, I love my baby-sitter, and I love being able to see my toes again. So sick pants, or no pants, I'm having a good day.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
So my BFF Oprah convinced me not to quit blogging, along with all you sweet friends who made comments. She really likes my stories about poop. Oh, that Oprah.
It's 11:15 on a Sunday night and I can't sleep. I have to admit, I'm a little 'high' and I should be chaperoned. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I do NOT have a high tolerance for pain killers. And not the illegal kind, even. A couple Tylenol and Ibuprofen are good enough to have me table dancing. We don't even want to talk about my days in the hospital with morphene or the days of the prescription Oxy where I mooned half the neighborhood.
So I have another migraine and popped a few Tylenol and now everything is looking like rainbows and sparkles.
And did you KNOW that they sell individually wrapped packages of cheddar cheese, like little gifts from angels? THEY ARE THE BEST THING EVER!!!! I've eaten four!!!
Last time this pain-killer legal high happened was a few weeks ago. I was on my way to choir with Jack-Jack and Ash and I let them know about the days when I wore pudding balloons.
So I will tell the world now of my secret. We just had our 10 year reunion (oh my freaking gosh!!) which has got me all sorts of reminiscing. 10 years ago I was still pretty insane but my parents didn't let me out of my cage much so not many people knew. Plus I cared about what everybody thought. Always. Now.... whether it's the drugs or the head injury or schizophrenia, I don't. I don't even have a filter and it gets me in trouble.
What was I talking about?
Oh yeah. Pudding balloons. I was taught by an older and much wiser friend that pudding is as good as silicone. So I learned to fill balloons with pudding (vanilla is the best, least smelly option) and flatten them out and add them to my brasiere. And I did it. ALL THE TIME.
They exploded a few times, but they made for a tasty snack in the midst of embarrassment.
And also, I wore two bras on my wedding day.
Crap, my blog isn't private yet. But those are my stories and I couldn't sleep until I shared them. Oh, seriously, this cheese is the best thing EVER.