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Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Ramblings of a Freaking Crazy Preggo

So I have determined that being preg-a-saurus is not so much an easy thing. Really…. Yeah. We have wanted a baby for a long time, and we are so thrilled (thanks for all your congrats!) but I never thought much about the pregnancy thing…. So I feel guilty for complaining about being pregnant, because it’s a miracle, but it is TOTALLY not what I expected. I have such new-found respect and admiration for all my friends that have been through this, and even so many more that have felt it worse than I have!

I do not have morning sickness – I have all day long sickness. The smell of my very own dear husband sends me into instant gagging and convulsions. The other day I exorcist vomited over my friend’s shoes because she ate yams in front of me, and just the name of ‘yams’ made me sick. We can no longer watch food commercials because I need a bucket close by.
And to make it worse, my boobs have NOT gotten bigger yet. What's the deal??
Then there’s the tired thing. I think I could sleep for 4 million years. I actually kind of like that, but it doesn’t help when it’s 11 a.m. at work and I’m in a meeting and I start drooling. Yes, it happened. They call me Drooly, the 8th Dwarf.
And I swear, I already waddle. I am 12 weeks along…. I shouldn’t even show, but I waddle. Sigh.

So let me sigh to you about the drama of this weekend. My body has been going through all these wonderful changes and if you can even imagine, the hormones have made me even MORE crazy. I decided it was time to get a new haircut and highlight so I could feel somewhat better about myself. The hair change ALWAYS helps. The lady that normally does my hair quit because she had a baby, so I made an appointment with another lady at her salon. I was paranoid and she re-assured me the hair dye and everything would be perfectly safe and normal. She was a liar.
Everywhere she tried to put brown, it turned fluorescent orange. No joke. Like a hunter hopped up on 80’s pills. I started BAWLING right there in the chair. I told her to just shave it. Bald is better than looking like one of those things they flag planes with. She told me that she has never seen it happen, but my hormones must have been so crazy they made my hair turn orange. Cry. So she ended up putting blonde everywhere to get rid of the orange, but now I look like a wanna-be Dolly Parton. I am BLONDE. I am too afraid to get it fixed, for fear it could turn green or rainbow or just fall out…. So the next 6 weeks I will be a waddling, Dolly-Parton, drooling, cry-at-car-commercials psychopath. It’s going to be a long time until October…….

13 comments:

Jackie said...

Oh Ev! I'm glad that you are in week 12 because things will get better. The 2nd trimester is blissful compared to #1 & #3. Get feeling better soon.

As for your stylist...umm, she didn't know what she was doing. It wasn't your hormones that turned your hair orange, it was a BAD color job. You should get your money back...seriously. It's her responsibility to do it right, and she didn't. I'm sure you look beautiful & being blonde will be a fun change for summer don't cha' think? Besides, you can't say you look like Dolly Partin until those boobs start a growin' drastically...and they will I promise. :)

Kim said...

That is hilarious! Just give it a few more weeks and you should feel much better. My morning sickness went away around week 20. Not that that is much of a consolation. You will be surprised how quickly you forget. The boob thing comes after the baby when your milk comes in. Sorry! You will be a fantastic mom. Every day down is one more behind you. All the yuck will be forgotten the day you get to hold your little one in your arms and know that it is all worth it!

kate said...

Yes yes Jackie is right the 2nd trimester is right around the corner, and it is BLISS!!

You tell yourself you'll never forget how terrible you felt, but it's funny. You forget.

Keep it up friend!

Emily said...

Lol- I'm sorry Ev, I promise it does get better. I started feeling better around 14 weeks so hopefully the nausea will go away. Than enjoy your 2nd trimester, the 3rd sucks! But than you'll have your baby, your boobs will grow (and leak), and you'll be a crazy lady from lack of sleep!

Don't worry, it's all worth it!

Alison said...

Sorry sweet. welcome to the club. Those who said it gets better might have been true for them, not for me. with both my kids i was sick the whole pregnancy. not as bad maybe as the first trimester but bad in any case. you will come out of your sleep comma in the 2nd trimester but it comes back for the 3rd :) just remind yourself when you are hugging the toilet (if you are lucky enough to make it there) that the sickness equals a healthy baby. and there is no shame in drooling :)

Laura said...

It's ok not to love being pregnant, no matter how much you want a baby. It's definitely worth it, but it is not an easy thing! I hope your sickness eases up soon. You are almost done with the first trimester, in my opinion the worst part except for the last month! And I started waddling before I ever looked pregnant too. I have no idea why. All these ladies are right about the boob thing too. Let's just say I found an old bra recently and couldn't stop laughing at the idea of trying to squeeze myself into it! Hang in there, we all love ya!

The Wettstein Family said...

Just so you know, you forget how awful you felt when you were pregnant because being that sick so unimaginable that your brain can't possibly process it, so your brain forgets. It's a survival mechanism, and that is why people tend to have more than one child. Sorry to break the news to you but your boobs don't get bigger, they get swollen and hard and you feel like they're going to explode. It's not a pleasant feeling or one that you wish to have, so stop wishing for bigger boobs because you will regret it!
Other than that, pregnancy is puppy dogs and rainbows. ;)

JO said...

somehow I missed the baby post! Congratulations!!!!!! I am so happy for you.

M and M said...

Ev! You are hilarious... Pregnancy really can be a doozer. Good luck though, I promise the second trimester is great and then when your babe gets here it is all worth it! We are happy for you!

Miss Heather said...

I admire you so much for doing the pregnancy thing! I'm too wussy! I'm scared to death!! :)

You are so adorable and I love you. I hope the sickness goes away soon...

Miss Heather said...

Oh and you DO NOT want bigger boobs... this is coming from someone with huge boobs who's never been pregnant. Enjoy your little ones!! I'm jealous!

The Rowlands: Greg, Melissa, Ava and Amelia said...

Evelyn, you have no idea who I am or vice versa, but I was "blog surfing", it started at Sommer Finnigan and went from there, and saw your post title. I felt a sigh of relief when reading this. I am 8 weeks pregnant with my my third and I feel the exact same way you do. The smell of my fiance Greg makes me wanna hurl. Hope you don't mind me commenting just found a little comfort in this. Melissa Rowland

Mandy said...

Isn't pregnancy awesome! You can't post all about that and not post a pictures! Get snapping....Hopefully the big dolly parton boobs will follow the dolly hair!