Secretly, I totally wish a vampire would bite me. For real. Jake always tells me that he has never seen a day where I don’t trip or spill on myself. I am like Bella, times one million. I have been waiting for the day when a vampire will bite me for the sheer fact that THEN I would be somewhat graceful.

So I have been feeling gross lately. Usually it’s all I can do to drag myself out of bed, throw a ponytail in, and do a double-take smell on my socks to make sure they’re clean. I decided this morning that I would have a very classy day. I got up on time, SHAVED (not my back, but my legs), froo-frood my hair, put on a cute skirt, and wore my heeled hooker boots. I finally was able to look in the mirror and not break out into sheer terror. Yes, I was feeling quite classy.
I felt super classy in my shiny black car on my way to work. I wasn’t even late today! I also felt very classy when I got out of the car, grabbed my matching bag, my water bottle, and my banana. Only really classy people eat bananas, and since I was classy today, it was a necessity.
So I walk into the office and see a family waiting for me up front. As I’m walking to greet them, I think an invisible midget grabbed my heels, because all of the sudden the earth gave away underneath me. I just in-explicably went FLYING. Seriously, FLYING, not tripping. I flew backwards. I think I covered a ten foot distance. To make this scene even more awesome, I dropped my banana, and landed in it. Mooshed banana on a classy skirt is not so pleasant.
I’m not so classy anymore. I would give anything to go back home, get out of my banana skirt, and put on my pink sweat pants.

:)

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
-Joshua J. Marine

Isn't life funny? I have often looked back on my rantings and ravings and totally realize that I can be ungrateful and complain too often. I am sorry for being a whiner. I don't want to be. I try to be positive, because I know that what happens to us in life is a lot about attitude. As stated in my previous post, I truly do have much to be thankful for.
I have now determined that Satan is a loser. Boo Satan. He tries to get into my head, make me whine, make me not see past the current situation, and tries to get me to neglect the bigger picture.
I am truly grateful for the belief I have that there is a greater purpose than sometimes we can see right in front of us.
That's right. Boo Satan!

Reasons to Smile

I might be alone in this, but lately I've been having a lot of days where I don't want to get out of bed. Days where I want to lay around in my bright pink sweatpants, (or maybe my spandex tights and legwarmers), watch the Price is Right, leave potato chips all over my belly, and pretend to scratch. I usually resist these urges as much as I can, seeing as how I probably would get fired really fast if I showed up in pink-potato-chip-covered pants, but some days it's hard to smile. I think it's the January blues. So I thought I would remind myself of the many reasons I have to smile today, because I need this.
Reason #1 - I am becoming the all-time cake conqueror. This means I can now bake them without them falling apart. I made this for Jake's birthday ...TA DA!

Reason #2 - Boys. I've pretty much loved boys my whole life. With six sisters, you sometimes can get tired of girls really fast. (But I LOVE YOU ALL). I never thought I could get a boy to stand to be around me all day, let alone forever..... but I guess I did. And a cute one! (I was very sneaky... I underestimate my own sneakiness). He also came in a package deal where I now have several bro-in-laws. My sisters also tricked some other boys into submission. Now instead of discussions revolving around hairspray and bra padding, we get to listen to things about werewolves, cars, burping and scratching (besides the normal Becca gassiness) and BOY talk. I LOVE BOYS!!! Christmas we spent with Jake's family, and with three boys together, I decided that boys are still something that make me smile. Trick for funniest thing ever: watch Mamma Mia and have boys make up their own dialogue.

Reason #3 - Crazy sisters who like to talk about Satan and bite each other. See below. Yes, I think we grew up next to a power plant. Or maybe drugs.

Reason #7. (It's not in order, but I like the number 7 the best.) Rubber Mallets. You can never guess what I got Jake..... yeah, it's a mallet. It hurts when you hit your head with it. I tried several times and it hurt several times.

Best reason ever to smile: Jake, and pigs.

Yeah, today should be bright and shiny. Smile.

Move over, Jake!

I am pretty darn-tootin happy right now. This has been a week full of very good news.
First, I have fallen in love.... with someone other than Jake. There is a NEW man in town.

Jake's sister Chantel gave birth to my favorite new person on Wednesday. Greyson Carl Demill made his grand entrance. He is a whopper - 9 pounds, 10 ounces, and 23 inches long. He has the biggest feet I've ever seen. I will have to teach him not to tip over, and how to win arm-wrestling contests with his toes. I am an aunt for the first time ever. My mom pointed out that Aunt Evelyn makes me sound like the oldest lady ever. Yeah. I love him!!

Other good news (hopefully) - we have offer #2 pending on our house as of this afternoon. Hopefully more good news is to come. If we sell it, I will do WHATEVER I am dared to do in celebration. Hmmm..... the possibilities.
:) I love good news!

I love reading blogs about Christmas. They are joyous and wonderful. I, myself, had a really joyous and wonderful Christmas. I took lots of happy, joyous, and scary photos.

But I am not going to post those now.

I WILL blog about the world's biggest pancake. And the butter ball. The thing is, this was not the main dish. This came as a SIDE to an omelette. It has dual purposes in serving as a flotation device during catastrophic events. It also makes babies cry.

I am also going to blog about my dad. He is old. He had ANOTHER birthday. (I KNOW, right?) So we did the nicest thing that you do for the elderly... we got him a walker.

It is also an appropriate time to tell you of my most recent attempt versus cakes. Jake and I hit the big FOUR years of blissful, drooly marriage in December. I celebrated by creating a masterpiece.... of goo. I tried to make homemade frosting. It was more of a brown puddle. But at least the cake didn't crumble this time!!

I know, I rock.

Yeah, four blissful years. You can see how excited Jake is.

Fo shizzle!!

Things that make me go.... ewww. *twitch*

Have you ever just looked at some things and wondered WHY somebody ever thought of those things? Like doilies. What is the purpose? They scare me. They remind me of funeral homes. Why does anybody need a doily? If you want to set something on a glass table, use a coaster. And those finger-less gloves. Isn't the purpose of the gloves to keep your fingers warm?

I found some things that evoked that same reaction. We found this fish, full of balls, in our hotel room. Why? WHY would you want this fish full of balls? I understand you want to keep all your shiny balls together, but why in a fish?

And the best of all things creepy, I found this creepy grandma fairy. She was in a Christmas store, staring at me with her evil eyes behind those evil spectacles. I think she might represent Satan, really. Why would ANYONE ever need a creepy grandma fairy.... with a fan? If she's so HOT, then maybe she should take that thing off her neck.

I know I'm not always the brightest person, but I don't get it.

November - smooching, babies, jig

I LOVE the fall. I love sweaters, falling leaves, jackets, hot chocolate, fireplaces, turkey, spandex, pudding, and squishy things. (These are all fall things, of course). This fall has FLOWN by, and November especially was FABULOUS.

I was reminded of so many things to be grateful for this month. I am BLESSED in so many things and need to remind myself of this more often.

I am blessed in love. I am married to the most wonderful, dimpled, drooly, stinky, handsome, quirky, intelligent man for me that has ever existed. I don't know how I suckered him into picking me (I think it involved a baseball bat and Valium), but I am so lucky. I was reminded of all these TENDER PRECIOUS feelings when one of my best friends in this world, Kisty, was married to the love of her life this month. We had the privilege of being present in the Salt Lake Temple to witness their wonderful sealing. They were so happy and so perfect for each other, and it's good to be reminded of these things once in awhile. I got to catch up with a few friends I haven't seen in awhile, like Carrie, Kristen, and Emily. LOVE!!

Kristen & I waited outside of the temple after the wedding in the freezing cold so that we could embarrass Kisty with some inappropriate question about the wedding night right when she came out. What are friends for?

I am also so blessed with my friends. I'm so grateful to all of you for putting up with my fat cheeks and farting noises and rampages about teenagers. Here below you see beautiful Kristen, Kisty, and retard. (I was half involved in an Irish jig).

Get a room!!!The very next day, my good friend from high school Angela is so wonderful and put together a baby shower for our friend Afton. It was a lot of fun! I got to see a few other friends I hadn't seen since that time too and it's always fun to catch up.
Afton is having a little girl and I can't think of anyone else that would make a greater mother. She mothered me all through high school when it was much needed! She always helped me get back in line and wiped my snotty nose!
Jake's sister Chantel is also having a baby boy in January and we threw a shower for her. It was also full of good things like food, poo talk, and belly rubbing. I am very grateful to see so many people I love being blessed with their own little families. My time will come, I know!!

I'm seriously so blessed (snicker, snicker..... foul noise).. No, really, I am!! Even with bad, sad, lonely, angry, and smelly days, I am making the effort to whine a little less and appreciate more!