Forts Rule, Chickens Drool

We have been under a lot of stress lately, and I know most of you are as well. Life is stressful, period. But being as crazy as I already am on a NORMAL day, I crack under stress. I lose it. I have two stages: stage one, you will find me huddled in the fetal position, wearing a towel as a turban, and rocking a Barbie doll to sleep. Stage two: I go nuts. I get uncontrollably hyper, constantly rambling about nothing that coherently makes any sense whatsoever. This is when people often accuse me of being on drugs.
I AM my own drug, just as much as Chuck Norris IS his own weapon.

We have done a few good things to cope with the stress. We decided to just ignore it and went down and stayed in a condo in Wolf Creek with our friends Kisty & Andrew. The weirdest part about this little weekend trip was that chickens seemed to follow us around. They were all over this cute little restaurant we found, and then again were found in the condo. I don’t get the whole decorate-with-chickens thing. To each his own, I guess. I just prefer to keep farm animals out of my decor, especially in kitchens, because we are constantly eating them. I don’t want that reminder.

Jake named this chicken 'Donk'. Good name. We are thinking about it for a prospect for our future child.

I am not trying to eat the chicken. I just am showing my lovely big mouth.

Fun thing #2 – the best, cheapest way to deal with stress, is to build a fort. We built a fort in our living room last weekend. We were laying around, whining about stuff, and I thought…. Forts rule. Forts TOTALLY rule. We watched a movie under our fort. You can totally tell we are getting old, though, because our butts went numb after laying on the floor and we ended up tearing it up halfway through the movie so we could sit on the cushy couch.


Anyone have any other positive ways of stress management? I would prefer no chickens to be involved, though.

Secretly, I totally wish a vampire would bite me. For real. Jake always tells me that he has never seen a day where I don’t trip or spill on myself. I am like Bella, times one million. I have been waiting for the day when a vampire will bite me for the sheer fact that THEN I would be somewhat graceful.

So I have been feeling gross lately. Usually it’s all I can do to drag myself out of bed, throw a ponytail in, and do a double-take smell on my socks to make sure they’re clean. I decided this morning that I would have a very classy day. I got up on time, SHAVED (not my back, but my legs), froo-frood my hair, put on a cute skirt, and wore my heeled hooker boots. I finally was able to look in the mirror and not break out into sheer terror. Yes, I was feeling quite classy.
I felt super classy in my shiny black car on my way to work. I wasn’t even late today! I also felt very classy when I got out of the car, grabbed my matching bag, my water bottle, and my banana. Only really classy people eat bananas, and since I was classy today, it was a necessity.
So I walk into the office and see a family waiting for me up front. As I’m walking to greet them, I think an invisible midget grabbed my heels, because all of the sudden the earth gave away underneath me. I just in-explicably went FLYING. Seriously, FLYING, not tripping. I flew backwards. I think I covered a ten foot distance. To make this scene even more awesome, I dropped my banana, and landed in it. Mooshed banana on a classy skirt is not so pleasant.
I’m not so classy anymore. I would give anything to go back home, get out of my banana skirt, and put on my pink sweat pants.

:)

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
-Joshua J. Marine

Isn't life funny? I have often looked back on my rantings and ravings and totally realize that I can be ungrateful and complain too often. I am sorry for being a whiner. I don't want to be. I try to be positive, because I know that what happens to us in life is a lot about attitude. As stated in my previous post, I truly do have much to be thankful for.
I have now determined that Satan is a loser. Boo Satan. He tries to get into my head, make me whine, make me not see past the current situation, and tries to get me to neglect the bigger picture.
I am truly grateful for the belief I have that there is a greater purpose than sometimes we can see right in front of us.
That's right. Boo Satan!

Reasons to Smile

I might be alone in this, but lately I've been having a lot of days where I don't want to get out of bed. Days where I want to lay around in my bright pink sweatpants, (or maybe my spandex tights and legwarmers), watch the Price is Right, leave potato chips all over my belly, and pretend to scratch. I usually resist these urges as much as I can, seeing as how I probably would get fired really fast if I showed up in pink-potato-chip-covered pants, but some days it's hard to smile. I think it's the January blues. So I thought I would remind myself of the many reasons I have to smile today, because I need this.
Reason #1 - I am becoming the all-time cake conqueror. This means I can now bake them without them falling apart. I made this for Jake's birthday ...TA DA!

Reason #2 - Boys. I've pretty much loved boys my whole life. With six sisters, you sometimes can get tired of girls really fast. (But I LOVE YOU ALL). I never thought I could get a boy to stand to be around me all day, let alone forever..... but I guess I did. And a cute one! (I was very sneaky... I underestimate my own sneakiness). He also came in a package deal where I now have several bro-in-laws. My sisters also tricked some other boys into submission. Now instead of discussions revolving around hairspray and bra padding, we get to listen to things about werewolves, cars, burping and scratching (besides the normal Becca gassiness) and BOY talk. I LOVE BOYS!!! Christmas we spent with Jake's family, and with three boys together, I decided that boys are still something that make me smile. Trick for funniest thing ever: watch Mamma Mia and have boys make up their own dialogue.

Reason #3 - Crazy sisters who like to talk about Satan and bite each other. See below. Yes, I think we grew up next to a power plant. Or maybe drugs.

Reason #7. (It's not in order, but I like the number 7 the best.) Rubber Mallets. You can never guess what I got Jake..... yeah, it's a mallet. It hurts when you hit your head with it. I tried several times and it hurt several times.

Best reason ever to smile: Jake, and pigs.

Yeah, today should be bright and shiny. Smile.

Move over, Jake!

I am pretty darn-tootin happy right now. This has been a week full of very good news.
First, I have fallen in love.... with someone other than Jake. There is a NEW man in town.

Jake's sister Chantel gave birth to my favorite new person on Wednesday. Greyson Carl Demill made his grand entrance. He is a whopper - 9 pounds, 10 ounces, and 23 inches long. He has the biggest feet I've ever seen. I will have to teach him not to tip over, and how to win arm-wrestling contests with his toes. I am an aunt for the first time ever. My mom pointed out that Aunt Evelyn makes me sound like the oldest lady ever. Yeah. I love him!!

Other good news (hopefully) - we have offer #2 pending on our house as of this afternoon. Hopefully more good news is to come. If we sell it, I will do WHATEVER I am dared to do in celebration. Hmmm..... the possibilities.
:) I love good news!

I love reading blogs about Christmas. They are joyous and wonderful. I, myself, had a really joyous and wonderful Christmas. I took lots of happy, joyous, and scary photos.

But I am not going to post those now.

I WILL blog about the world's biggest pancake. And the butter ball. The thing is, this was not the main dish. This came as a SIDE to an omelette. It has dual purposes in serving as a flotation device during catastrophic events. It also makes babies cry.

I am also going to blog about my dad. He is old. He had ANOTHER birthday. (I KNOW, right?) So we did the nicest thing that you do for the elderly... we got him a walker.

It is also an appropriate time to tell you of my most recent attempt versus cakes. Jake and I hit the big FOUR years of blissful, drooly marriage in December. I celebrated by creating a masterpiece.... of goo. I tried to make homemade frosting. It was more of a brown puddle. But at least the cake didn't crumble this time!!

I know, I rock.

Yeah, four blissful years. You can see how excited Jake is.

Fo shizzle!!

Things that make me go.... ewww. *twitch*

Have you ever just looked at some things and wondered WHY somebody ever thought of those things? Like doilies. What is the purpose? They scare me. They remind me of funeral homes. Why does anybody need a doily? If you want to set something on a glass table, use a coaster. And those finger-less gloves. Isn't the purpose of the gloves to keep your fingers warm?

I found some things that evoked that same reaction. We found this fish, full of balls, in our hotel room. Why? WHY would you want this fish full of balls? I understand you want to keep all your shiny balls together, but why in a fish?

And the best of all things creepy, I found this creepy grandma fairy. She was in a Christmas store, staring at me with her evil eyes behind those evil spectacles. I think she might represent Satan, really. Why would ANYONE ever need a creepy grandma fairy.... with a fan? If she's so HOT, then maybe she should take that thing off her neck.

I know I'm not always the brightest person, but I don't get it.