Ramblings of a Freaking Crazy Preggo

So I have determined that being preg-a-saurus is not so much an easy thing. Really…. Yeah. We have wanted a baby for a long time, and we are so thrilled (thanks for all your congrats!) but I never thought much about the pregnancy thing…. So I feel guilty for complaining about being pregnant, because it’s a miracle, but it is TOTALLY not what I expected. I have such new-found respect and admiration for all my friends that have been through this, and even so many more that have felt it worse than I have!

I do not have morning sickness – I have all day long sickness. The smell of my very own dear husband sends me into instant gagging and convulsions. The other day I exorcist vomited over my friend’s shoes because she ate yams in front of me, and just the name of ‘yams’ made me sick. We can no longer watch food commercials because I need a bucket close by.
And to make it worse, my boobs have NOT gotten bigger yet. What's the deal??
Then there’s the tired thing. I think I could sleep for 4 million years. I actually kind of like that, but it doesn’t help when it’s 11 a.m. at work and I’m in a meeting and I start drooling. Yes, it happened. They call me Drooly, the 8th Dwarf.
And I swear, I already waddle. I am 12 weeks along…. I shouldn’t even show, but I waddle. Sigh.

So let me sigh to you about the drama of this weekend. My body has been going through all these wonderful changes and if you can even imagine, the hormones have made me even MORE crazy. I decided it was time to get a new haircut and highlight so I could feel somewhat better about myself. The hair change ALWAYS helps. The lady that normally does my hair quit because she had a baby, so I made an appointment with another lady at her salon. I was paranoid and she re-assured me the hair dye and everything would be perfectly safe and normal. She was a liar.
Everywhere she tried to put brown, it turned fluorescent orange. No joke. Like a hunter hopped up on 80’s pills. I started BAWLING right there in the chair. I told her to just shave it. Bald is better than looking like one of those things they flag planes with. She told me that she has never seen it happen, but my hormones must have been so crazy they made my hair turn orange. Cry. So she ended up putting blonde everywhere to get rid of the orange, but now I look like a wanna-be Dolly Parton. I am BLONDE. I am too afraid to get it fixed, for fear it could turn green or rainbow or just fall out…. So the next 6 weeks I will be a waddling, Dolly-Parton, drooling, cry-at-car-commercials psychopath. It’s going to be a long time until October…….