So I know I’m way behind on pictures. Couldn’t help but post this one to keep you all guessing, and peeing in your pants for those yet to come.Hope you all had a Happy Halloween. The ninja Chuck Norris and his little monkey sure did have a good one.
I wore this to work. No one could figure out what I was. (Chuck Norris is too awesome for human vision). A guy walked in and asked our secretary, “What is wrong with that ladies’ face?”
There are many, many things that I am bad at.
Blogging, for instance.
My list of crappiness also includes walking and chewing gum at the same time, mothering (Worst Mother of BRHS Class 0f 2000 – Holla!), cutting straight with scissors, having a face that doesn't make babies cry, being nice to homeless people….. I could go on for hours.
But, there are a few things I deserve a shout out for, for being the Captain of Awesomeness.
One thing: my thrifty skills. I have taught bubba dude to play with garbage in order to save money. His favorite toy? The one he can’t go to bed without? His bowl I stole from someone in college. Pretty much 90% of the day, it’s on his head. It kind of acts as a helmet which is much needed because I also am bad at walking without falling over, which he has inherited.
The other thing I am good at? Well, pretty much nothing else. BUT, I am posting an awesome picture of a friend get-together, because THEY are all awesome. I know I am just there for people to kick for entertainment, but still. Love you guys. A Special shout out to my BFF Oprah for making an appearance.
This cutest face says it all. 'Some days everything tastes like a turd, but I'm so sexy!!'
I know I feel like I've been thrown into the blender of life, with a zucchini. Nasty zucchini. Blech. UNTIL it is made into bread. And then it's good. (See, that's a deep metaphor. Read it again and then hang it on your fridge).
We've had chaos surround us in the Heaton household as of late, although I'm sure it's muss less chaotic then the trials the rest of you deal with.
We've had a lousy, busy, insane week and this morning I just decided to call in sick.... because I AM sick. No, really. The chaos made me go all sicky. So as I'm laying here in my 'sick pants' (do the rest of you have those or is it another weird 'Ev' thing?) I am thinking I am not slowing down enough amidst the chaos to truly enjoy so many of the blessings of this life.
Especially the baby awesome. Old ladies are always so right, that he grows too fast to even know. He is 10 months...almost 11. He is freaking WALKING (well, like 5 steps and then freaks out and canon-ball dives). He's talking (he says 'yaaaay). And he's TEETHING. Which is the crap thing of it ALL. Perfect little sleeper? Not any more.
Earlier this day, while still in my sick pants, I was watching baby tv shows. Where is my BAAAA-BY? WAAHH!!!
So here's to trying to enjoy the little things, the teething sleepless nights, and to celebrating his growth. Soon, he might be old enough to be enlisted as my slave, so at least THAT is something that is good about growing up.
No really, today I'm overly grateful for this little miracle of mine. And for my life. I truly haven't felt this happy, albeit a little stressed, before. I love my boy, I love having my BFF sisters and nephew so close to torture every day, I love my little cheese of a husband, I love my job, I love my baby-sitter, and I love being able to see my toes again. So sick pants, or no pants, I'm having a good day.
So my BFF Oprah convinced me not to quit blogging, along with all you sweet friends who made comments. She really likes my stories about poop. Oh, that Oprah.
It's 11:15 on a Sunday night and I can't sleep. I have to admit, I'm a little 'high' and I should be chaperoned. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I do NOT have a high tolerance for pain killers. And not the illegal kind, even. A couple Tylenol and Ibuprofen are good enough to have me table dancing. We don't even want to talk about my days in the hospital with morphene or the days of the prescription Oxy where I mooned half the neighborhood.
So I have another migraine and popped a few Tylenol and now everything is looking like rainbows and sparkles.
And did you KNOW that they sell individually wrapped packages of cheddar cheese, like little gifts from angels? THEY ARE THE BEST THING EVER!!!! I've eaten four!!!
Last time this pain-killer legal high happened was a few weeks ago. I was on my way to choir with Jack-Jack and Ash and I let them know about the days when I wore pudding balloons.
So I will tell the world now of my secret. We just had our 10 year reunion (oh my freaking gosh!!) which has got me all sorts of reminiscing. 10 years ago I was still pretty insane but my parents didn't let me out of my cage much so not many people knew. Plus I cared about what everybody thought. Always. Now.... whether it's the drugs or the head injury or schizophrenia, I don't. I don't even have a filter and it gets me in trouble.
What was I talking about?
Oh yeah. Pudding balloons. I was taught by an older and much wiser friend that pudding is as good as silicone. So I learned to fill balloons with pudding (vanilla is the best, least smelly option) and flatten them out and add them to my brasiere. And I did it. ALL THE TIME.
They exploded a few times, but they made for a tasty snack in the midst of embarrassment.
And also, I wore two bras on my wedding day.
Crap, my blog isn't private yet. But those are my stories and I couldn't sleep until I shared them. Oh, seriously, this cheese is the best thing EVER. 
I love this kid!!Item of business #1: I know I have been ooooober bad about blogging. But I have ooooober good excuses, which I will include.
Item #2: The title of this post has no relevance. I get sick of having to think of good titles. And because it's my birthday today, I get to write what I want.
So.... here's a little bit of what we've been up to. And if you want pictures, give up now, because I get to be lazy on my birthday and I don't want to find my camera.
*Carter is crawling. Everywhere. And not just crawling. He is pulling himself up on everything... EVERYTHING. I'm worried social services will be called because he keeps falling over and banging himself.
*He has a fascination with the toilet. Should I be worried? Every time I leave a room, I hear his pitter-patter as he follows me. When it goes silent, I find him in the bathroom... sucking on the toilet. Our toilets have never been so clean.
*Jake started a kick-a new job. We have been praying and interviewing and crying for months, and we feel so so so blessed. He is the manager/designer of a marketing firm in Cottonwood Heights. Go Jake!
*Jake also thought it would be awesome to go and tear up half of his ACL and meniscus and had surgery. He is really funny when he is high. He talks about poop. More than me.
*I am going back to work. It's a necessity thing, but I think it will be ok - it's only part time. I will be working at UVU as the graduation/transfer adviser. Or something like that.... I'm too old, because of my birthday, to remember what the job actually is. But it's only from 12-5 so I can corrupt Carter with the rest of my days. I think it will be a good thing... I am just having anxiety about having to leave my widdle baby boy. However, I hope it will help my social retardedness that I am getting from spending most days babbling Lady Gaga lines to my baby awesome.
*I am joining an awesome new choir, the Millennium Choir out of SLC. I haven't sung since college and I ooooober miss it and I hope it will be a good thing. If they can handle all my talk about poop.
*I have taken up Zumba. Best workout ever. I basically don't get the hip action/jiggling thing, because I am wa-hite as all white, but I"m good at making up my own dances. And I'm losing a lot of my jiggly parts!!
*We went on our first vacation ever as a family to St. George for the sealing/blessing of my beautiful favorite niece Lydia. Carter doesn't sleep in hotels. And he REALLY likes their toilets.
These are my thoughts for the day. Now I am going to eat 6 pounds of M&M's, because I can. Besides, I'm starting to lose control of my bowels in my old age so I better enjoy it while I can.
Ok, so I always have to start off most posts with ravings of my awesome little man. Because that's what makes me happy, and that's what I want to blog about......
My amazing sister Becca happens to hold the world record of neck circumference, but is also amazingly beautiful and talented. (Check out her blog... rdlphoto.blogspot.com. AMAZING)
His 6 month stats:
Weight: 18 pounds. He hasn't hardly gained any in 2 months. That's because he has a diagnosed case of the wiggles, the shakies, the oober-hyperactive-shake-what-your-mama-gave you squirmies. This kid is a mover. He is SO close to crawling that it scares me. I love that he sits, but it's not good enough for him. He wants to MOVE. He spends all day rolling around the house and scooting on his belly and bum, and I keep finding him stuck in corners. Oh, geez.
Height: 29.5 inches. Off the charts. Gonna be a baller.
Head: too big to count. Measuring tapes don't get that big.
He is NOT an eater. We have been trying to go through all the fruits and veggies and he pretty much only eats carrots, peaches, and apples. He LOVES to giggle and has a the cutest darned belly laugh I've ever heard. He still mellow, and always happy, but SO curious. He loves people and part of the reason he will never eat is that he hates to sit still for the few minutes it takes. He would much rather flirt. Oh, yeah, that's right... I'm already getting ready for when this dude is a teenager. Women of the world, crawl under your beds, because Mama Ev will be ON.
He also is 100% his dad. Yeah, he has some hope. He thinks he is a bad-a but underneath is all gooshy.
Priceless face, eh??!! I LOVE IT!!! And I love that the little blondey has grown the five hairs necessary for a fo-hawk.
I, on the not-so-cute hand, also have a diagnosed medical condition. Mom-brain. Can't remember if I already posted about this or not, because I don't remember anything.
I showed up early to a birthday party ---- 2 days early.
I shaved the back of my husband's head completely bald. He has one sad, lone strip of baldness ... reverse mohawk. No joke.
I wore my pants backwards to the grocery store.
I tried to get ready for church on a Friday morning.
It's not a joke. I've lost it. Ah, oh well. Backwards pants might be the NEW thing.
